Motivation. Please~

ASSALAMU`ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH

What a day. I haven't do anything for my study and still am looking ways to motivate myself. This is my problem; I have a very low self-esteem and motivation (I once thought this is the reason why I'm here, being a teacher).

In life, it's rare for me to find something as being motivational and provocative. If there is, then it would be a highly isolated cases. Highly confidential: accursed me! 

It seems that my life has no clear vision (extensively: 'had'). I always find ways to swerve away from the burden of studying and exchange improvements with procrastination, and even so, I will get marks I don't deserve. Or that's what I'm thinking (God's intervention, I know).

I wonder where's all those beautiful quotes' effects which used to motivate me a lot. Am I having motivation-resistance as a yonder of too much usage? ARGH! What a bummer #facedesk

Now, everyone's studying. Facing that thick, white-yellowish book and looking at it attentively, their sights have almost gone through the paper. Towards the infinite space of imagination. Been there, haha.

Ardie's now at it. He's a very hardworking boy, I'd say. Those who get him as husband will sure be on cloud nine. Last night, he studied until 4.30 and today, he has been relentlessly browsing through books and read all thoroughly. Gahh! (I'm not jealous. Okay, I am jealous. I means, where does he get the motivation? Why it's inapplicable to me?). No sooner we'll enter the examination hall and end up with one, having ear-to-ear smile. Guess who's that guy will be.

And I will be like those drunken late-night men. Intoxicated with confusion, guilt and self-defamation. HAHAHAHA. (I don't think it's a good time to laugh. Gotta think of something)

Ugly Svenny.