Asperger's Syndrome

ASSALAMU`ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH

I feel weakened. Devastated. And in utmost wrecked state. Many things went bad (and worse, of course) and are going to get to that. I just don't feel like being a teacher. If standing in front of the people I know is hard, how can I ever stand in front of kids? I do love kids, but somehow this unkindly feeling makes me feel so like a man falling down. Hopeless. I just pray that if my existence in the educational system causes more damages than repair, God fails me in the examinations (because we need to go through two examinations before being kicked out). I should not risk the future of this poor society. I must either change, or being kicked out of the mechanism.

On the other side of the paper, I'd like to pinpoint that I think I have Asperger's Syndrome. No seriously, let me quote a few symptoms of this disease:

• Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking.
• Avoid eye contact or stare at others.
• Be preoccupied with only one or few interests, which he or she may be very knowledgeable about.
• Have delayed motor development. Your child may be late in learning to use a fork or spoon, ride a bike, or catch a ball. He or she may have an awkward walk. Handwriting is often poor.
• Have heightened sensitivity and become overstimulated by loud noises, lights, or strong tastes or textures. 
• Your teen with Asperger's syndrome (like other teens) will want friends but may feel shy or intimidated when approaching other teens. He or she may feel "different" from others. Although most teens place emphasis on being and looking "cool," teens with Asperger's may find it frustrating and emotionally draining to try to fit in.
• And although teens with Asperger's can begin to learn those social skills they lack, communication often remains difficult. They will probably continue to have difficulty "reading" others' behavior.

The moment I read this, I just plainly said, "I knew it. I knew it all along".