Adultophobia

ASSALAMU`ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH

Bald is a new sexy

Currently, I am bald and happy. But behind that curtain of happiness, hidden deep under this youth’s core is a fear nothing could ever erase. A fear that has long warned to keep an eye about, by those in the past, whose feet were in the same shoes I am wearing right now. Ah, getting all too serious in this beautiful morning. How convenient.

Actually, it is not that serious nor too significant for me to be in all realness, terrified. All of us (inshaAllah) will have to get through it. Adolescence. Yes, adulthood. It is scary, is not it? When I gave my youngest brother a bath two or three days ago, a bombshell dropped in me.

A question

“Am I able to cope with that life, so much others anticipate?” I asked myself. And it said “Hell no!”. It sulked for that question made it shivered too, as much as I was. Well, at least in this confinement of irrational fear, I have comrade: myself.

While my state of being is highly fine and healthy, it’s Bedlam in my head. Rushes of thoughts that race in multi-directions, and sometimes rub pass one another, make me feel uneasy. Not that kind of uneasiness such a man is going to make his confession, but a weird, third kind of feeling.

When you are trying to answer things that are beyond your capability, and the failure to answer, let alone to control them—because those things are for real (!?)—will result in the death of your confidence about life. You cannot lie to me that this is no naught and corny thought. I am an expert.

A usual wrap up: "Okay, everyone's a winner"-to-say tone

Adolescence always gives me this cold look whenever I try to bravely stare at it. And as usual, it wins all rounds. And you know, maybe I should halt this thought of getting mature, being a grownup with millions of responsibilities on both of my shoulders (OH NO  dx.xb)

Maybe I would want to savour these last years of my wonderful, carefree teenage life.