This Life Is What We Desired It To Be

ASSALAMU`ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH

Bewilderment

Sometimes, without any rational reasons, I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night. After several minutes of not being able to plead myself to getting back to sleep, I begin to ask myself if I will ever get the life that I have dreamt about for so long now. You know, traveling around the world, winning awards, publishing my own novels and anthologies, having Volkswagen Polo in my garage...yup, sometimes I fell short to wonders, saddened by the fact that those wishes may never be realized, with such limited time and resources. I might never get the life that I desire.

But you know, as I pondered this, I moved my sight through the billowing curtains and the opened window panes, looking at those gleaming stars and the moon, I would always feel "enough" again. To be able to be an awakened witness to this perfect night sky view only some were chosen to would always sooth me down. I felt fulfilled. Contented. Calm, be consoled by this power unfathomable to me, which whispers, "Nope Yassin, this is the life you've always been dreaming about". This is pretty much the life I would have wanted, had I have a big house, a beautiful wife, a bookshelf of my own writings and a swimming pool next to that big house.

And I would fall asleep with this beautiful thought, then.

I mean, we always want things we do not have (and most probably, will never have). Inasmuch, we tend to forget, what we have is really what we should appreciate. And to resolve to the matured understanding that we will never lose what we never have is another way for me to escape that cravings which sometimes beyond my capability of handling. Well, as idealistic a human is, he wil always have that weak spot, too. So am I.

*rubbing eyes*

So guys, since it has not passed yet, let us enjoy this life :)