War Against The World

ASSALAMU`ALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH

World is like an ocean. Super salty ocean. And we are one thirsty sailor, lost in the confusion between the ocean and the sky, as both reflect each other. The urge to drink it (to quench your thirst) is lust, or nafs, whereas the heart to not doing so is faith, or iman. Pray that our iman is stronger than our nafs, or we will be the victim of a much deeper thirst. And subsequently die.

I am a victim of a constant - I'd say, timeless - struggle between wanting and achieving. I want to always have myself completed, perfected with all the necessary things I should have in order to access the Heaven; but always get blocked by worldly wanting. I don't want all these, I just want a deep slumber and an awakening in Heaven.

I'm in need of company (??)

I always have deep empathy upon myself. I have no friends to listen to what I have to say. And what I mean a friend who listens, I mean this one guy/gal whom I would have no worry and fear to share my worldly sufferings with. One who shares the same sentiment as mine; desiring quick escapade off this world. I used to have several, now I have none. I did try sharing my thoughts and feelings with these strangers I have all around me, but they care less. Or this is what I think.

I am a happy guy. Almost all the time. But when times like this happen, I'll be the quietest man; writing blogs, reading others' comments in Facebook, reviewing the latest men's fashions and et cetera. I may be lying on the floor, thinking of the things I have done, and should have done and mourn. I swear, my life is empty.   Even my descriptive mind couldn't help it.

I drank too much this world. Now I have to pay the price. Bending over my laptop, overlooking the past and craning the future, arranging the sentences and acting as if I'm finally relieved. May God save you guys from the fate I'm having through. Amen.